Several years ago, I saw a post on Facebook that I’ll never forget.
The post had to do with Charlie Roberts, the man who attacked an Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster County. Most people in the discussion were remarking on the amazing forgiveness shown for this man by the godly people in the Amish community. Despite the overwhelming pain he had caused when he brutally killed five of their children before committing suicide, they attended his funeral and even offered consolation to his grieving family.
But scrolling through the discussion, I was stopped by one post. A woman I don’t know had written, “I could never believe in a God who would forgive a person like this.”
Moved with Frustration
I admit, when I read this, my first reaction was not charitable. I thought: who does she think she is that she has no need for the forgiveness of God herself? I guess no one in her family will ever do anything wrong, even by accident, that she would want forgiven.
Reading her post over and over, several times I put my fingers on the keyboard to respond. But every time, I pulled them away again. It was so offensive to me that this woman would believe that only smaller sins deserve God’s forgiveness. That there should be some categories of sin, like the killing of innocent children, that should be outside the scope of God’s power or willingness to forgive.
For her, the forgiveness of God, the very thing that we as Christians gratefully rejoice in, was the stumbling block to faith. Clearly, she didn’t understand what forgiveness is, nor apparently what sin is, and she seemed to have no concept of repentance.
Take a Breather & Listen
So, I let the moment pass without responding. But in my mind, I kept coming back to that post again and again, and in the intervening years, a response started to take shape in my mind.
Christians forgive because we are forgiven. There are non-believers who say that Christians think they’re so perfect. Here’s the evidence that we don’t. We know that we all need the forgiveness of a perfect God.
But it’s important to understand that our forgiveness is not God’s forgiveness. Not everyone we forgive goes to heaven. We don’t decide who is saved and who isn’t. That’s too heavy a burden and too hard a task for fallible human beings. God decides. And because he does, and not us, we’re freed to be compassionate toward everyone, good and bad alike. Some might be better than we think we are; some might be worse than we think we could ever be.
Our Place in the Story
It’s not our place to judge. That’s the point of Christian forgiveness: judgment comes from God, not from us. We can release ourselves from resentment and bitterness. We can let go because we know God will take care of it. And if he forgives, we’re glad, because one day maybe we or somebody we love will need that kind of forgiveness.
Some might question whether we should forgive if the guilty person isn’t sorry. But unlike God’s forgiveness, our forgiving isn’t tied to repentance. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the hold that vengeance and anger toward the offender would have over us. We don’t have to wait for his apology to free ourselves. His repentance is his business. Our forgiveness is ours.
With God, repentance is necessary. If Charlie Roberts repented before his death in that schoolhouse, if he accepted Jesus into his heart in those final, terrible moments of his life, then he should be forgiven, and he will.
But that’s between him and God. It’s none of our business. Our business is to know that we are forgiven by an all-loving and infinitely compassionate God, who has the power to forgive all sins, no matter how big or small, so long as we turn to him and humbly ask his forgiveness. To do less would make him less than a perfectly loving God. If forgiveness were reserved only for small offenses, it would have a smaller value. Jesus died for all sins, even the really terrible ones. If the worst of us can’t go to heaven when we sincerely repent, then none of us can.
Moved with Compassion
When we repent, he forgives. That’s what repentance means. We aren’t the judge. We can have compassion. We can share the forgiveness that’s available to all of us.
So, what would I write to that woman today? If I could go back to that moment, instead of my initial, angry reaction, here’s how I would respond to her post:
The almighty and loving God who created the universe loves you more than you can imagine. And right now, while you’re denying his existence and refusing any relationship with him, he is walking right beside you still, ready and waiting to forgive you. The minute you turn to him, he will change your heart and your life. You’ll come to understand love and forgiveness in a way you never thought possible. But until then, know that believers all over the world are praying every day for you and others like you. And if ever you or someone you love should need our forgiveness, you can count on us. God bless.